Let me tell you a secret… I’m not the guy you think I am.
My life has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride. I’ve spent the majority of my adult existence caged in a prison of fear, engulfed in a darkness so dense I could barely see myself putting one foot in front of the other. This winter season in my life felt like an eternity. I lost all self-worth and was desperately trying to find my way back home, crawling towards the tiny flicker of light I could scarcely make out at the end of the proverbial tunnel.
An unending battle with alcoholism and addiction held me in a crippling cycle of resentment, shame and guilt. I felt separate and apart from life… and the people in it. Many times I just wanted to escape reality and hide from the world. Decisions I made, ultimately steered me down a steep path of self-destruction.
I left a wake of chaos in the lives of those closest to me. I disappointed, betrayed and hurt many, but ultimately, my anger was directed at the person I despised and hated the most – myself. In my 20’s I descended to a level of despair and hopelessness, so deep that I even attempted to commit suicide… twice. I saw no way out and I just wanted it all to stop.
This may come as a complete shock. I can take bet, that unless you have been on the receiving end of my abuse, you wouldn’t think this part of my life existed. Living in constant fear of inadequacy and being exposed, I built up a well polished exterior that reflected a life of success, positivity and gratitude. In order for my ego to shield me from judgement and attack, that at the time I rightly deserved, I became divisive, manipulative and dishonest in almost all my dealings. I would go to any length to prevent anyone from seeing behind the curtain. Catching a glimpse of the selfish, self-centred person that hid behind a veil of lies and deceit.
This was not the person I ever wanted to be… Far away from the tattoo scribed across my chest, “Inspired Child of God – Forever Loved, Never Alone”.
The light always shines brightest in the dark.
Looking back at my life so far, the darkest times and places have become the most beautiful. Why? Well, because there is something quite magical about the dark. That’s where things grow.
“They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.” — Mexican Proverb
Take a jar of seeds and leave them on the shelf and… nothing happens! But, take the same seeds, press them into the dark soil and now something spectacular happens. Roots take shape and a plant emerges. A plant that will later grow into a tree, bear fruit and blossom in all its glory.
Today, I can truly look back and see my alcoholism and addiction as my greatest gift. It has enabled me to connect on a deep level with people, especially those who are suffering a form of addiction or facing a hardship in their own lives. I am grateful for the journey I have been given. Every challenge, every moment of despair, every failure and every moment of sheer hopelessness has taught me a valuable lesson and has crafted me into the man I am today. In the moments I felt most lost I was being stretched and pulled, bent and shaped like a piece of iron in the hands of a skilled blacksmith.
The fact that I am alive today is a miracle. The amount of times I have barely escaped death; high speed car crashes, overdoses and attempted suicide is a pure testament to God’s amazing grace and blessing. I should not be here today. But I am.My rock bottom has become the foundation upon which I can share my stories with the world.
My rock bottom has become the foundation upon which I can share my stories with the world.
My mess has become my message, my test transformed into a living testament. No matter how many times I have lost my way I have always managed to bounce back – stronger than ever.
After my first and only stint in rehab, I have made a resounding comeback. I am part of a South African startup, that has started its global rollout, after securing a worldwide contract with tech giant Uber.
In the property space, I continue to source land for some of SA’s biggest developers and listed funds. My life has kicked into overdrive – only months after having lost it all.
The whole purpose of this blog is to share the principles and tools I have used to make my comeback. No matter where you find yourself in life – in the depths of despair, frustrated with where you find yourself or merely stuck in a state of procrastination – there is hope. Now is the time for you to be pushed into your purpose!
No matter what season of life you find yourself in, and no matter what challenges you are facing – there are simple tools that you can apply to your daily life that will exponentially accelerate your success and bring you closer to stepping into your God-given destiny.
The tools and principles I use daily are not secrets, available to an elite few. Countless books have been written about them and there are hours of free content available on sites like Facebook and YouTube.
It all comes down to two things:
- How badly do you really want it?
- Are you prepared to make sacrifices and take daily consistent action?
And, yes. It really is that simple!
Here are the 15 simple tools that created massive momentum in my life and catapulted me back from an all-time low. You don’t have to be a genius to apply them to your life. They will enable you to take your 10-year goals and achieve them in half the time, if not less.
- Find your purpose and pursue your calling.
- Reprogram your thinking. Let go of old ideas and sabotaging thoughts.
- Walk steadfast in faith, choosing a path of daily spiritual growth.
- Believe that you capable of achieving anything you put your mind to.
- Create a vision and goals so large they excite you to the core.
- Acknowledge that fear does not exist and is merely a delusion we create in our mind.
- Take massive action! Don’t talk, just do – and keep doing, every day.
- Immerse yourself in a process of continuous education – feeding your mind and soul.
- Model your icons and follow in the footsteps of those who have gone before you.
- Spend time with people who breathe life into your purpose and ignite your passion.
- Give yourself credit and stop being so hard on yourself.
- Triple the Love. Love what you do, love others and, most importantly, love yourself.
- Surrender. Let go and accept that everything is the perfect experience you need to have.
- Live in the present and harness the power of now.
- Serve others. This is the ultimate purpose of life.
If you follow these 15 simple steps, it will change your life. I can’t promise you won’t face challenges and hardships, but I do know you will be prepared. You will be equipped to walk through anything life throws your way. Most importantly you will find the things that truly make you happy and define who you are, and I can tell you now it has nothing to do with how much you earn or what you own.
So, join me on this incredible journey…
I certainly don’t have all the answers and haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of self-discovery. But, I know what it’s like to feel hopeless and lost. Maybe you are facing a challenging season. Alone, with no one in the world who could possibly understand. So for the person who really needs to read this the most I just want you to know one thing – you are not alone.
It is your destiny to fly – you have everything you need, right within you. What you have been searching for, you have come searching with and now is your time to choose faith over fear.
“You are not alone and you are better than you think.” – Tim Ferris
I look forward to sharing and learning with you over the next days, weeks, months and years. May we all open our eyes, let go of fear and be pushed into purpose.
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“One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.” – Helen Keller